Meant To Save The World
by FeralShadowwolf
Summary: While Lois has flashbacks of her time bringing up Jason the five years that Superman was absent, she forces Superman to reveal why she couldn't remember concieving Jason. In doing so, she once again discovers who Superman really is. One month PostSR
1. Stolen

The clock on Lois' desk flashed 10:30pm, and the caffeine from the three cups of black coffee she'd had, had worn off about half an hour ago. Sometimes it seemed that the Daily Planet was more her home than the real one lately, ever since Superman came back. She sighed.

"Are you alright, Lois?" A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine Clark." Lois smiled dismissively.

"You look mighty tired Lois, maybe it's time to hit the hay?" Clark suggested, clearing his desk out for the night.

"Hit the hay?" Lois gently laughed at him. "You're probably right." She sighed and switched off her computer. Everything she had written tonight had been utter trash anyway.

"Say, how's Jason these days?" Clark inquired.

"He's doing really well, thanks Clark." Lois smiled.

"And Richard?" Clark stammered.

"Oh," Lois winced. "Oh, no!" Lois cleared up her stuff in a hurry. "I totally forgot! I was supposed to meet Richard at a restaurant at 9:30." She switched on her phone. Five missed calls. Crap!

"Oh, well can I give you a lift?" Clark offered.

"I didn't know you had a car?" Lois said, turning off her desk light.

Clark stayed silent. "I don't…"

Lois looked at him strangely, but said nothing. "Thanks for the offer anyway. Goodnight Clark." She said leaving. Sometimes it was hard to see that Clark was a really decent guy underneath his shy exterior.

"Night, Lois." He hesitantly waved goodbye, leaving him alone in the office room.

Rushing through the doors of the Daily Planet, the bitter cold of the night was matched by the dark night sky, making it impossible to wave down a taxi. It also reminded her than she left her coat upstairs, but she'd just grab it tomorrow.

Lois reached for her phone and dialled Richard's cell. Three rings. "Lois?"

"Hi honey." She said sheepishly.

"Where were you?" Richard said angrily. "I waited for forty minutes at that restaurant."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lois apologised, continually trying to signal a taxi. "I lost track of time and I had switched my phone off, and now I'm being ignored by every cab in the city." She said, clearly frustrated.

"Ok, well, you want me to pick you up?" Richard offered, although still sounding pissed off. Lois could understand why, but her career was hitting a low-point recently, and she'd been letting things slide. Still, she hoped she'd never have to choose between Richard and her career.

"No, it's fine." Lois replied. "I'll just see you at home."

"Ok, I'll leave you out some food." Richard said.

"Thanks honey, bye." Lois pressed the 'end call' button and returned her attention back to the road.

A few minutes passed and no more cabs came down the street. Lois shook her head disbelievingly. Of all the cities in the world, Metropolis always had taxis roaming about, except for when she really needed one.

_Maybe there's a cab station down the road_, Lois thought and began walking down the road. Just as she began to walk, a loud crash of what seemed to be trashcans made her jump from the alley beside her. And again. She began to walk down the alley, her journalistic curiosity taking over. A gun cocked behind her and she could feel it against her head. "Give me your bag, lady."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Lois?" Clark shouted as he stood outside the Daily Planet, holding up her coat. "You forgot your coat!"

A scream came from the alley beside the Planet building, and Clark instantly recognised it as Lois'. Using his x-ray vision, he saw a rough man holding Lois at gunpoint, being held against the wall. As usual, Lois was being stubborn and refused to give him her purse. He holds up the gun, about to shoot. Even at super-speed, he wouldn't be able to change into Superman _and_ save Lois. No, this was Clark Kent all the way.

Pushing up his glasses, he ran down the street shouting, "Lois? Is that you? Because you left your –"

"Hey!" The guy with the gun get jumpy and points it at Clark.

"Oh golly." Clark acts surprised and intimidated.

"Over there, next to the lady." The man kept his gun on him and slowly Clark moved next to Lois, keeping his hands up with Lois' coat in one hand.

"Now look here fella, there's really n-no n-need for violence." Clark stuttered.

"Shut up! All I want is her purse." The man shouted, getting more agitated by the second.

Clark looked hopefully at Lois. Hesitantly, she held out her bag to him. Snatching it, the guy backed away slowly at first, and then turned and ran for it. Clark picked up the trashcan lid and flung it towards the thief, hitting him in the head and knocking him out cold.

"Wow, Clark." Lois stared in awe and ran over to kneel beside him, picking up her bag, with Clark following after her. "That's quite an arm."

"Well, you know." Clark shrugged, turning slightly red. "I played a little ball in college."

Lois just looked at him, almost laughingly. "Well thanks Clark, you're a real nice guy. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"You did once." He smiled.

"Well, I better be off. Thanks again Clark. What would I do without you?" Lois smiled, patting him on the shoulder and turning to leave.

"Er, Lois?" Clark stuttered. "Your coat?"

"Oh," She laughed. "Thanks."

"No problem." Clark started, but Lois had already left. She kept doing that, ignoring him completely. Watching Lois leave, Clark sighed and took off his glasses, glancing at his subtle disguise and then back at Lois. _If only she could see._


	2. Flashback

Lois arrived home that night exhausted. Richard had obviously gone to bed, but there was a note explaining that there was Chinese in the oven. Didn't matter anyway, she wasn't that hungry. She quickly went upstairs to check on Jason, he was sleeping soundly. He was so beautiful. On his wall beside him, a huge Superman poster loomed, watching over him. It was nice for Jason to have such a wonderful role model to aspire to, and eventually become. Since she told Superman that Jason was his son, she hadn't really seen him aside from that night where she discovered him floating by Jason's window. "I'm always around."

In a way, Jason being the son of Superman could present so many problems, but now at least, Superman knows that he is not alone. And Jason can now learn what he can do and how to do it. She had been alone in her secret for so long, carrying Superman's baby for five years.

FIVE YEARS PRIOR:  
Lois stood, rocking back and forth in her bathroom for the last forty seconds, biting her fingernails in anticipation. The last twenty seconds almost killing her as her one-minute pregnancy test sat before her.

_It's probably just a false alarm,_ Lois thought. _It has to be._

The timer went off that she had set. The test was ready. Slowly, she picked up the little white stick. Two blue sticks meant positive, one blue stick was negative. She closed her eyes, holding her breath. She forced her eyes open, to look at the item that may change her life forever.

She exhaled. Two blue sticks. She was pregnant. _Oh God, oh God, oh God_. Lois supported herself from collapsing against the bathtub. _Pregnant?_ She'd only just met Richard, the chief's nephew. He had asked her out and she genuinely had a nice time. Then, once her inhibitions were lowered by one too many glasses of wine, and the grief over losing Superman the week before had kicked in, she had slept with Richard. That was a week ago. Richard was a nice man, but it was far too soon to have a child, it would change her entire life.

She looked to her belly, resting her hand protectively over the child growing inside of her. She could almost feel it. Lois pictured her son or daughter, she pictured herself as a mother – possibly a single mother. She doubted that Richard would be sticking around.

A tear slipped down her cheek. There was always abortion, but something felt so wrong about that. It was almost as if the baby was meant to be born, something deep down told her that this baby, _her_ baby, was meant to live. It was here for a special reason. Adoption was out of the question – if this baby were to be born, then it would be hers – all hers. Nobody could love her baby more than her – nobody.

Lois wiped her tear away. _Oh God,_ She sniffled. _I'm going to be a mother._

PRESENT:  
Lois locked the house, turned off all the lights and continued with her daily ritual as she had everyday before that. Clearing out the oven of the Chinese leftovers, Lois caught sight of the picture that Jason drew of Superman flying with 'mommy', 'daddy' and Jason. She brushed her fingers down Superman's drawing, and then Richard's. She sighed.

Inwardly, Lois knew that she had done a terrible, unforgivable thing. She had known all these years that she never really loved Richard, not like her love for Superman, despite trying. This prolonged engagement; it was all a charade. As a single parent, Lois was scared. Out of that fear, she promised to marry Richard, knowing that he was all she had. And even now, she was still stringing him along, deceiving him – making him believe she loves him. That night when Richard asked if she was still in love with Superman, her heart kept screaming yes, against all her better judgement, against all her will power.

One day, Lois would have to do the right thing. She just didn't know whether that meant leaving Richard or marrying him. Richard was such a kind man, the perfect man – the problem was, she wasn't sure that he was _her_ perfect man. She gazed at Superman's picture again. She had never really let him go, just forced herself to believe that he was never coming back.

"But he is back." She whispered to herself. _But what does that mean? For her _or _Jason?_


	3. This Is How

Once more, Superman had flown to the house by the bay, and was floating just in front of the house. Lois' house. His son's house.

It was late, or really early in the morning, depending on how you looked at it. Every night Superman tried to come and just gaze at his sleeping son, before some disaster struck in another part of the world. Superman could see how intelligent Jason was, how strong. And he missed five years of his life. Of course, had he known that Lois was pregnant, he never would have left. Lois must have been so scared, not knowing how she became with-child. He erased everything about them from her, and despite Jason, it was still the safest decision for her. But he knew he should have said goodbye.

Disturbing his thoughts, the front door opened and Lois walked out onto the lawn in her robe. She hadn't spotted him for the moment, and as much as he felt he should leave, he couldn't.

"Hello, Lois." He said, floating down to ground level.

She looked up, at first speechless. "What, er, what are you doing here?" She hugged herself, protecting herself from the cold.

"I was just passing by." He answered.

A few cold seconds passed. "You know, I almost got mugged tonight. Where were you?" Lois accused.

"I was th– I mean I was in Peru. But you had it under control." Superman said, almost letting it slip. Lois had a way of making him want to defend himself that no other person could.

"Yeah, thanks to Clark." Lois scoffed.

"Clark?" Superman twitched.

"Just a guy I work with." Lois explained.

"Well, sounds like _Clark_ had it under control." Superman smiled. "I would have been there if I could."

"I know." Lois sighed. She had no idea why she was so edgy tonight.

"Why are you still up?" Superman asked.

"Couldn't sleep." She replied. Even though that was because _he_ was all she was thinking about, it didn't mean it was _his_ fault and instantly realised how cold she was sounding tonight. Actually, yes it was.

"I should go." Superman said, turning to leave.

"Don't even think about it." Lois warned and Superman turned, surprised at her choice of words. "You can just fly off when things get tough, but I can't, so we're going to have this out now."

"Have what out?" Superman smiled, confused.

"Well, for one, Jason." Lois stared icily at him. Superman stayed silent, he knew what was coming. "You know, I've always had a pretty good memory, but I must say, you and I sleeping together escapes me."

"I don't know what to say." He replied. They both stayed silent for a few seconds.

"So, what was it? A quickie before you left? A way to get your rocks off?"

"Of course not. But if I told you –"

"Because I love you – _loved_ you." Lois quickly corrected herself. "I fell in love with you. Then you left without so much as a goodbye and then nine months later out comes Jason. Please explain this, because I'm at a loss." Lois almost shouted, looking up at the house in case she had woken anyone up. She was really hurting inside.

"Lois, I fell in love with you too." He admitted. "And you deserve to know the truth." He took a moment. "You found out something about me, something…" He was almost stuttering.

Lois could see that this was difficult for him and wanted to support him. She took his hand and said, "It's ok. It can't be that big a deal."

Superman smiled and looked at her face. "You found out who I was, who I am, and I gave up my powers for you. We were engaged." He breathed.

She stumbled back a few steps. "Engaged?" She said disbelievingly. "Why don't I remember this?"

"The Kryptonions that came, General Zod. I had to protect you, the whole world. I could only do that by getting my powers back. Having my powers, I couldn't be with you. If someone found out who I am, and knew we were having a relationship, you could get hurt. You saw me everyday, and you said you couldn't handle it, so I helped ease the pain." Superman explained. "I erased it all from your memory."

Lois stood, completely speechless, staring at the patch of grass before her, trying to take in all that he was saying. "Well, this is far too much for me to handle, far too much."

"Lois," Superman reached out to her, but she stepped back. "I'm sorry. If I could do it all over again… I wanted to tell you."

A short silence passed. "Ok, I need some space for me to think this over. If I could just be alone for a while." Lois breathed, still not able to make eye contact with him.

"Ok." Superman replied. "If you need me, I'll be around." Lois didn't reply and slowly, he flew off, leaving her alone once more.

FOUR YEARS, THREE MONTHS AGO:  
"Jason." Lois held her boy in her arms for the first time. "What about Jason?"

Richard looked at his family lovingly. "I think Jason is the perfect name." He kissed his tired fiancée on her forehead. She looked so tired.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Lois looked into her new son's deep blue eyes, just like his father's.

"Well, I see a lot of you in him, but I don't see much of me." He chuckled.

"What? Look at those blue eyes." She smiled.

"True." He smiled. _Those aren't my eyes_, he thought. "Ok, honey, I'm gonna go and get some disposable cameras – I forgot mine."

"Ok." She smiled. Richard left and Lois looked back to her boy. Her boy. One day he'll be big and strong and won't want constant hugs from his mother, but until that day, Lois wanted nothing more than to hug her son every single day for the rest of his life.

Something was unusual about this little guy though. During her pregnancy, she felt physically stronger than before. She could move the furniture more easily, she once accidentally broke a door handle and cracked a plate simply by holding it. And she always felt better when the sun came out, shining down on her. Of course, it was probably just her hormones, so it didn't worry her that much. But now… she looked down into her baby's eyes and she already knew that she lied. They weren't Richard's, and they definitely weren't hers. So deeply blue. She had seen them somewhere before. But where? It must have been a family relative of hers of Richard's. _Yes, that must be it._

PRESENT:  
It took a long time for Lois to realise that Jason wasn't Richard's son, but it was impossible to imagine how it was Superman's. But now that he had returned, it suddenly made sense. Jason's looks, Superman's looks, their instant bond – it was obvious.

_Engaged? _That word still rang through her mind. She tried to picture her life as the wife of Superman. Maybe a house like this, Jason playing with the dog, Lois saying "Hi honey, which part of the world did you save today?" as Superman flew through the windows. No, it didn't seem plausible. If only Superman was less Super and more human…

_Wait; didn't he say something about another identity? That I figured out who he really was? Lois_ stopped. Right now, she was at a loss. She knew no one that looked like Superman, no one she could remember anyway. One thing was for sure; she had to find out who Superman really was.


	4. Realisations

Lois woke up the following morning with a note where Richard's head should have been explaining that he didn't want to wake her and that he dropped Jason off at school. She woke up with one thing on her mind: who is Superman?

After getting dressed, Lois realised that whoever he was, he was bound to be someone she had already met, which ruled about 6 billion strangers around the world. Therefore, she had to get on with her day as normal. Grabbing her bag and her coat, she headed to the Daily Planet.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Lois!" Perry White shouted from his office. "Where's that story you promised me?"

"Oh, um," Lois sputtered. "It's not done yet, Chief." She looked around, glancing at the people all around her. Superman, Superman, who is Superman? Somehow she doubted that it was Ned, the overweight, bald journalist who should have quit years ago, or Jimmy Olsen, the Planet's photographer.

"Well, step on it. The paper waits for no man. I want it by tomorrow, got that?" The Chief shouted, returning back into his office.

"Got it." She muttered. _Nope, not Superman either. _She slumped down at her desk, frustrated. _This is ridiculous,_ Lois thought. _I've gone insane. Of all the places in the world, Superman isn't going to be hiding under my nose at the Planet._

"Morning Lois." A friendly voice said from behind her.

"Hey Clark." She sighed without even turning around. _Maybe I accidentally met him at a café or something, _her mind still focused on Superman.

"Y-you sound frustrated, Lois." Clark observed. "Anything I can do?"

She sighed again. "I don't think so Clark. Thanks anyway."

"And you're ok after last night, it got pretty scary there." Clark sheepishly smiled.

"No, that's not it. But you really came through, Clark. At least you didn't faint like the last time I almost got mugged." She smiled to herself, and he nervously laughed.

"Oh, you remember that. Lois, I'm going to go get some coffee, you want some?" He offered.

"Oh, actually, I'll go get it. I need a change of scenery for a minute." Lois said, getting up from her desk.

"Gee Lois, if your sure." Clark said, with Lois already heading for the elevator. "I'll be around up here."

Lois froze. She slowly turned round to face him. "What did you say?"

Clark mindlessly repeated. "I'll be around up –" Clark stopped and looked at Lois.

Lois slowly approached him. "You're always around, right? Always, when I need you." She spoke more to herself than Clark now. "Five years – he was gone you were gone." She breathed and reached for his glasses.

Clark grabbed her hand and quickly said, "Lois can I see you over here for a minute?"

Clark dragged her inside the storage closet, quickly closing the door. She snatched his glasses off. "Ha! I knew it!" Lois smiled triumphantly, gazing upon Superman's face.

"I really need a better disguise." Clark murmured.

"You're not going to erase my memory again, are you?" Lois took a cautionary step back.

"Evidently, it didn't help the last time." Clark replied. "How is it you knew it was me today? You've seen Clark everyday since I came back."

"Because, today I came here looking for you." Lois answered. "If it helps, if it hadn't been for Jason, I wouldn't have remembered anything."

"Thanks." He half-heartedly scoffed.

"So, what now?" Lois asked, hands on hips.

"I don't know where this leaves us." He admitted.

"Me either." Lois realised. She had come into work with a plan, to find out Superman's other identity, it never occurred to her what would happen after that. "I have to ask you this though. Last night, you said you fell in love with me. Are you… Do you still love me?"

Suddenly, the closet door opened and Clark instinctively grabbed his glasses from Lois and put them back on. "Richard!" Lois squealed.

"Lois?" Richard said. "And Clark?"

"H-hey Richard." Clark pushed up his glasses nervously.

"What are you two doing in here?" Richard asked, holding the door open for all to hear.

"Well, er, Clark needed more staples for his stapler," Lois began, casually looking at Clark to go along with it. "But he couldn't find any, so I offered to show him where they were, and –"

"– and now I have one." Clark finished, holding up a box of staples that he had just grabbed.

"Oh, ok." Richard accepted and they all came back out into the office. "Oh, Lois, could you pick up Jason this afternoon? Perry wants to talk to me about something."

"Er, sure." Lois said, still reeling from the almost surreal moment in the closet.

"Seeya Clark." Richard smiled.

"Bye Richard." Clark waved. Once Richard was gone, he turned back to face Lois. "Maybe here isn't the best place to do this."

"You're right." Lois agreed. "Come by my house tomorrow night and we'll talk this through."

"Ok, sur–" Clark stopped and twitched his head to the side. _A robbery – five men with machine guns – New York. _"Lois, I've gotta go." He said urgently. Lois noted the tone and gave him a nod of understanding.

Clark Kent ran out to the elevator and was gone. A moment later, a murmur of voices came from behind her and every person in the office had their eyes on the television.

"Breaking news," The woman on the TV said. "Twenty people are being held hostage in a New York bank. There are at least five men with machineguns, but –" A blue and red blur sped across the screen. "Wait, what's this? Superman has arrived at the scene!" She hollered. The camera zoomed in to the bank doors as Superman opened them and a flurry of hostages ran out. Superman walked to the nearest policeman. "Officer, there are five men tied up in there who you might want to take in." "And once more, Superman saves the day!" The reporter squealed, the camera still glued to Superman. "He truly is a gift from heaven." She said. A short wave from Superman and then he flew off at super-speed. A blast of applause rang through the office as pictures of Superman appeared across the scene as adjectives to describe him were being cried out.

TWO YEARS AGO:  
"He is such a sweet little boy." Lois' neighbour was saying. "Never too loud. I always hear him playing in the garden."

Another one of Jason's admirers was singing his praises, which Lois usually didn't mind, but Mrs. Landmyer had been going on for twenty minutes.

"Yes, we're so proud." Lois sweetly smiled. "If you'll excuse me, I should go and check on him."

"Of course, have a lovely day Mrs. White." She hollered. Were it not for Lois' desperation to escape, she would have corrected Mrs. Landmyer's mistake. However, she would rather be called Mrs. White, than spend another minute talking to that obnoxious woman.

Entering the house, she went to the living room to check on Jason in his playpen. Two years old and still as adorable as the baby she used to hold in her arms, but was now far more adventurous. Richard was at work since Lois decided that she needed to spend time with her son rather than being at work twenty-four seven, so it was agreed that she would work from home and go to the office only two days a week, at least until Jason started school.

"Jason, honey, are you ready for your –" Lois almost screamed. In her living room, her two-year-old son stood with the playpen confidently held above his head. He giggled at her, obviously proud of his achievement while Lois stood frozen, completely speechless. It took Richard and another friend to carry his playpen and now Jason, her toddler, held it as if it were a teddy bear.

Slowly, Jason put down the playpen and began to play with his 'choo-choo' train. Lois couldn't move. She breathed, staring at her son. He waddled over to her, clutching her leg. She knelt down so that she could look in his eyes. He was still her son. His blue eyes gazed up at her lovingly as they always had.

A sudden realisation hit Lois like a slap in the face. Those blue eyes… His almost superhuman like strength… It wasn't possible. It wasn't possible. Superman's eyes, Superman's strength – Superman's son? She had experienced needing the sun while she carried Jason and even now, he prefers outside to inside on a sunny day – almost as if the sun were more effective than food it built his strength up. Was it possible that during the pregnancy she was channelling the baby's powers? _This is insane,_ she thought to herself. _Jason is a normal boy, what happened before was just a fluke. Besides, I've never slept with Superman. Jason is Richard's son._

Jason began to cry as he watched the TV. It seemed that the Smurfs being caught and trapped upset him. He didn't take his eyes off the television. Lois picked him up and a moment later, the TV spontaneously combusted into flames. Instantly Jason stopped crying. Lois just looked at her son in disbelief.

PRESENT:  
"Hey, Mr. Kent!" Jimmy Olsen shouted as Clark left the elevator. "You just missed Superman on TV. Isn't he cool?"

"Oh, well, yeah I guess he is… cool." Clark stuttered, as he pushed up his glasses. Lois quietly laughed at him, but both Clark and Jimmy looked at her. She began coughing, and quickly glancing an amused look to Clark. Superman and Clark were obviously two very different people. Clark didn't seem so amused.


	5. Ending It

"Hi, honey." Lois greeted as she picked up her son from school. "How was your day?"

"Oh, it was so cool! We got to do a project on anything and I did mine on Superman!" Jason said, an excited smile beaming across his face. After the Lex Luthor incident, Jason was almost obsessed with Superman. In a way, it was encouraging that Jason wanted to one day use his powers for good, in another way, it terrified Lois that one day her son would be flying around the world doing what Superman did now.

"That sounds fun." Lois said enthusiastically.

"Mommy, could you ask Superman to come and speak at my school?" Jason pleaded.

"Oh honey, I don't know. Superman is a very busy man." Lois said, but weakened by her son's pleading stare. "I'll ask him."

"Yay!" He smiled.

"Um, Jason. What do you think of my friend Clark?" Lois held her breath.

"I really like him. He looks a lot like Superman." Jason observed.

"You think?" Lois acted surprised. _Great_, even her son could see past the disguise she had fallen for, for years.

"Yeah." Jason replied. "His glasses are funny though."

"Yeah." Lois laughed to herself.

Once she had pulled into the driveway and parked the car, Lois turned to her son. "Jason, you are a very special boy, and I want you to know that whatever happens to you throughout your life, Clark, Superman and I will always be there for you." She stroked his hair. Jason nodded, not fully understanding. He was still her little boy; it was hard to imagine that one day he would inherit the world.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Richard came through the front door at about 5pm, looking gloomier than usual. All he would say about the meeting with Perry was that he'd talk about it later. He sat through dinner quietly and rarely made eye contact with Lois.

When the time came for Jason to go to bed, Lois sat down with Richard on the sofa and opened with, "So, what's going on?"

He sighed. "I went into Perry's office today expecting a promotion or the sack. Instead, he offered me something much better and much worse." He looked at Lois, who seemed confused and slightly worried. "Perry offered me a once in a lifetime job as an international representative for the Daily Planet."

"Well, that's great!" Lois smiled. "Congratulations!"

"There's a catch." Richard said. "It's in England. We're trying to set up a European Daily Planet HQ, it's ambitious, but if it worked, then people all over the world would be reading our newspaper."

"It sounds exciting, but… England?" Lois tried to sound supportive, but was aware that she was coming off worried.

"Yeah, and I would be gone a long time, a very long time." He held her hand. "This is something I've wanted for so long, since I first heard of the project before I met you, but you and Jason mean the world to me."

"So don't go." Lois said, almost pleadingly. Richard just smiled at her.

"Lois, I have been in love with you since the day I met you. I asked you to marry me, and you said yes. We had a son together. After five years, we have had a wonderful time, but Lois…" He hung his head. "You're not in love with me, you're still in love with him."

Lois gaped. "No, Richard, I do love you –"

" –But not in the same way. I've seen you look at him, Lois." He turned to her and clasped both hands. "But Lois, if I'm wrong here and you do want to marry me, say you love me right now and I won't even think about going."

Lois tried to form words. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, that he should stay, but nothing came out. "Richard, I'm so sorry." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Me too." He smiled dejectedly. "I guess I better pack. I want to say goodbye to Jason. There's a plane leaving early tomorrow."

"I really am sorry." Lois repeated. "I tried…"

"I know." He kissed her on the forehead. "I know you did."

ONE MONTH AGO:

She tried her best to stop Jason from using his powers until he was older, until Superman could show him how. Now, when she sees him, she sees the strong man he would grow up to be. He pushed a piano across a boat – he killed the thug who had tried to kill her. Now they were trapped inside this pantry, with Luthor trying to destroy the world and by now he probably knew that Jason was Superman's son. She had been protecting him for so long, and now that Luthor knew…

She had collapsed onto the floor with a broken rolling pin beside her, as Jason looked to her for guidance. She couldn't breathe. They weren't going to escape; they were going to die. Jason stood up and she looked at him. _He's going to do something amazing again, he's going to open the door,_ she thought. Her heartbeat pulsed around her body, faster and faster. Jason reached for the handle, gently placing his hand on it. _This is it,_ Lois held her breath. The door opened.

"Daddy!" Jason squealed as Richard appeared behind the door.

"It's ok." He embraced Jason, protectively holding his son.

"Oh my god," Lois breathed and ran to hug him. "How did you get here?"

"I flew." He smiled.

And then realisation hit Lois like a slap in the face. Richard was like Superman in so many ways, that she had chosen him for his Superman-like qualities above anything else. That was when she realised that Richard was a shadow of Superman, and that she had settled for that when the real thing had flown away.

But then he returned, and saved her again; but once again, he left her. He had to go back, to confront Luthor. Superman didn't know about the Kryptonite poison on the land. They had to go back, she couldn't lose him again. As they circled the land, Jason looked out into the water, almost as if he could see beyond the waves.

"He's down there." Jason pointed.

"You sure?" Lois yelled, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." Jason nodded. Jason could see Superman before anyone else; the odds of finding him were hard enough, but with Jason there… _I knew he could feel him. _The father and son bond.

As Superman's head was supported by her hand, he asked, "How did you find me?"

Jason turned and smiled sweetly, knowingly. Superman couldn't understand, but she did. He thanked her, not realising that it was his son who saved him.

_How alike they are,_ she thought. Superman could teach her son things she didn't know about – what were his powers? How should he use them? How are they controlled? Obviously it was a conversation for another time. Superman had to go back and fight Luthor.

When Lois saw Superman unconscious in his hospital bed, she noticed how her sleeping love looked like her sleeping son. Same strong jaw, same innocent look.

"They say that sometimes, when people are… that they can hear you. I don't know it that's true." Lois whispered. She looked at Jason. He ran his fingers along Superman's clothes that were draped over the chair. Over the 'S'.

She lowered herself to whisper in Superman's ear. "I needed to tell you," Jason looked over. She lowered her voice. "Jason is your son. Don't ask me how, he just is. He is my son and he is your son." She kissed him, praying that he would return to her. Jason couldn't resist thanking his saviour. His father.

PRESENT:

As Richard spent his last night on the rollout sofa, Lois lay in her bed unable to sleep. She finally knew how she felt, how she was to handle the situation with Richard. She had returned his engagement ring earlier this evening. How could she have married Richard anyway? She had always been in love with Super –Clark. Clark. She never thought she'd say that. If she was in love with Superman, was she in love with Clark as well? _If Superman is Clark, Clark is Superman, ergo I'm in love with the same man._ _Besides, Clark is a disguise. Or is it? Which one is really him? Oh dear, this may get confusing,_ Lois thought as a headache began to form. One thing was for sure, if she was thinking about Clark and/or Superman, she definitely wasn't thinking about Richard.


	6. Meant To Save The World

It had been a week since Richard had moved out, leaving the house seemingly empty – she hadn't realised before how much room he took up. She had talked to Jason about it, and although at first he was upset about Richard, the only father figure he had ever had, leaving, Lois knew that he was a strong kid and he would bounce back from it. Lois sometimes wondered if Jason ever knew, whether consciously or not, that Richard was not his real father, and this past week had pushed Lois into believing the latter, as Jason seemed to have formed a stronger attachment to Superman than before Richard had left.

Of course, Clark still hadn't revealed to Jason that he was Superman, and had jointly decided with Lois that it would probably be something he should hear when he much older and less likely to go about the playground, chanting "I know who Superman really is!" No, probably safer that the Superman secret is kept just a little longer from his 5-year old son.

Still, Lois sighed when she saw Jason drawing Superman with his crayons and talking to him before he went to sleep – as Superman's visits had become a lot more frequent – and then when she brought Jason to work with her, having her almost ignore Clark as much as she used to broke her heart for Clark. It can't be easy being your son's hero, literally, for one moment, and then being ignored the second.

As far as figuring out the whole Clark/ Superman double persona love triangle thing, Lois had not gotten very far. There was one night, the night after Richard left – the first night of not kissing anyone goodnight but her son, that Lois really wanted someone to be there with her, and that someone was Superman. But then she tried to picture him without the 'S', without the super-human strength, without the powers – and then there was just a man in a silly red cape. She didn't know this man; he was a stranger. He wasn't Clark – the bumbling, nervous, mild-mannered reporter – he was not Superman. Not her Superman anyway.

And so she had made her mind up. For Jason's best interests, for her own sanity, she had to tell Super- Clark, she had to tell Clark, that she couldn't be involved with him, that she couldn't let him be a part of her life the way he was a part of Jason's. She had to put her career, and more importantly, Jason first. He was her priority, as he should be Clark's. Like he said, Jason was destined for great things, and Lois had to make sure that as a mother, she wouldn't screw that up. To do that, she had to maintain some level of a normal environment, for Jason to grow up like Clark did. With a normal mother, with a normal school and normal friends. One day, Lois would have to let go of normal. Ever since Jason's birth, she'd known he'd never be normal, never be ordinary. He was meant to save the world, just like his father.


End file.
